An NBA Finals Preview: A Comparison from a Celtics Fan

I am a Celtics fan. I have been for years, I lived through the days of Chris Herren and Len Bias, Antoine Walker and Waltah, the drafting bumbles of Slick Rick Pitino (what up Ron Mercer!) and the trading away of future All-Stars (Billups and Joe Johnson). Needless to say I am more than excited about this past C's season.



66-16 was above and beyond in terms of expectations for this year. The world knew the Celtics would be good but I don't think too many people saw this coming. (Although for you stat nerds the Pythagorean W-L projected for this team was 67-15, 1 game better than what the C's accomplished), but that is neither here nor there. The Celtics finished with the best record in the NBA and that is something to be proud of.

The playoffs have not run quite as smooth (understatement of the century?), going 7 games with both the Hawks and Cavs, and then a 6 game dogfight with the Pistons is beyond what one would consider a tough road. The prize for trudging through those series? The L.A. Fucking Lakers. Ouch.

I'm always optimistic but honestly this is going to be rough. The Lakers have this guy, I'm not sure if you've heard of him. His name is Robert Paulson, I mean Kobe Bryant and he is really fucking good as in one of the best players to ever lace them up good. He is the MVP of the league and only 29. He does this and the Celtics don't, at least not as well.

Of course there is much more to it than 1 player right? I mean even Micheal needed a Scottie. So let us compare both teams in a few important categories to determine who may have the advantage.

Rosters:

Celtics : Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce, Ray Allen, Rajon Rondo, Kendrick Perkins, James Posey, Sam Cassell, PJ Brown, Leon Powe, Glen Davis, Eddie House, Brian Scalabrine, Tony Allen

Coach: Doc Rivers

Lakers: Kobe Bryant, Lamar Odom, Pau Gasol, Derek Fisher, Vladimir Radmonovic, Sasha Vujacic, Luke Walton, Jordan Farmar, Ronny Turiaf, DJ Mbenga, Kwame Brown, Chris Mihm, Trevor Ariza

Coach: Phil Jackson

OK, let's break this down. In the all important Most Europeans Category the Lakers win in a landslide but to counteract that they also win in the Most Terrible Centers on One Team category (I can't even believe Chris Mihm is still in the NBA, let alone on a team in the NBA finals). In terms of Superstars I think you have to lean towards the C's. Kobe = MegaSuperstar and Gasol and Odom can be considered stars but not the way the Boston Three party are. (+ 1 for the C's)




In the coaches category I don't think it is even fair. Phil Jackson and his supporting cast are the fucking dream team on the bench, no one does it better and Jackson has the track record to prove it. And let's be honest a baby could have coached this Celtics team to at least 60 wins so in my mind Doc Rivers hasn't even been that integral of a piece to this Celtics Puzz 3-D.

In the Most Old Guys category the Celtics take the cake. Not only are all three of the Celtics superstars over the age of 30, but they also have PJ Brown and Sam Cassell. Sam Cassell is so old I think his name was dropped in a Kool and the Gang verse. The Celtics also win in the Most Guys Who Resemble Aliens category, thanks Sam I Am.




In terms of bench play I have to go Lakers, as terrible as Kwame and Mihm may be Luke Walton, Ronny Turiaf, Vujacic and Farmar are all good players. They know their roles and play them well. The Celtics? Their biggest bench contributors have been PJ Brown, Cassell, and James Posey, not exactly the vibrant youth the Lakers possess but they do all get senior citizen discounts at the hotel buffet.

One category the Celtics have on lock is Best/Most Nicknames. The Big Ticket, The Truth, Jesus Shuttlesworth, Big Baby, Sam I Am, The Boston Three Party etc etc. The Lakers? The Black Mamba is pretty tight but then the well runs dry. The Lakers also take Worst Look-A-Like category because as my friend Eric pointed out Gasol resembles Lowly the Worm to a fault.



To Recap:

Lakers (+) : Most Euros, Best Coach, Best Bench, MVP
(-): Most Terrible Centers, Worst Look-A-Like

Celtics (+): Most/Best Nicknames, Most Superstars
(-): Most Old Guys, Most Aliens

All in all I would say that is a pretty close race with the Lakers probably coming out on top. In my heart of hearts I want the Celtics to win but in my head I am going to have a hard time betting against Kobe and the Gang. He's got the rings and he seems like he is on a mission to collect more. This Celtics team is great but I don't think they are ready... yet. I hope I am wrong but I think this is a Lakers year.