America, Fuck Yeah!

But first, football.

The Pats lost this weekend to the Miami Dolphins and also to Joey Porter's mouth. Did anyone actually think it wasn't a possibility? I mean maybe not to the Dolphins (although there is history showing it was possible) but Porter said it himself "Matt Cassel is not Tom Brady". Yes, the Patriots were good, even great, one of the better teams to take the field in a long, long time. BUT did it ever occur to ESPeoN that a Bradyless Pats < game =" not"> a guy who hasn't played a meaningful game since 99'. Anyone who thinks the Pats can still contend without TB is not smart, nor should they have the power of reaching millions of fans every Sunday via television.

Rant over.

Now on to the real upset of the weekend, the Ryder Cup. A Tiger-less U.S. squad with a shitty Mickelson took down Paddy and the Boys for the first time in a half decade. The U.S. just played terrific golf all week, most notably on Sunday when it really count.



Golf hasn't really taken up much of my attention since Tiger went down but I was pleasantly surprised when I tuned in to see Anthony Kim surgically removing Sergio's brain from his head. If there is one thing I love when I watch golf, it's Sergio Garcia blowing it. Also, Boo Weekeley may now, check that, is now my new favorite golfer. (Sorry JD) He looks like a trim John Daly without the booze problem, or gambling problem, or chain smoking problem or any problems at all really. Not only that, but he likes to get the crowd riled up Happy Gilmore style, which is always a good time.


This brings me to my final point, being a professional PGA golfer may be the best gig in the world. All your clothes are free, all your equipment is free, you fly around the world and most likely do it all with your smoking hot wife and you play golf for a living, bottom line that is the best description of a job posting that I could imagine. If I saw that on Craig's List I would bend over backwards to qualify. I also think this topic deserves more dissection so when I get the time my next post will be the top 5/10 jobs in professional sports. Until then....

A Rivers Runs Thorugh It

Do clever titles do anything? Besides mildly amuse me? Let me know, because most times after I write one I feel so dumb for doing it that I wished I hadn't, just like the one titling this piece.

I now it's NFL time but I need to get some NBA off my chest before I forget about it. Doc Rivers was recently extended (within the last week I believe) to the tune of 5.5 million per for 3 years. My first reaction was spitting fire at my computer screen and drafting a letter of non-support to the Boston Celtics for making this terrible decision. After cooling off for a few days I have come to realize that it was a fucking horrible decision and I shouldn't have shredded that letter. For all the Doc lovers out there (are there any?) allow me to explain.

I understand the Boston Celtics won the NBA title last year, and I also understand that Doc Rivers was the coach of that Celtics team. The one thing I'm failing to understand is why does Doc Rivers get rewarded for this past season when all other have been a miserable failure. 66-16 is a tremendous record, how many wins did Doc have? How many late game plays did he craft to help the cause? How many of KG's buckets did Rivers draw up? What magical system did he implement that no other coach has the understanding of? What development and strides has he made in the world of coaching? Who models their offense after the Celtics? I know some of the questions are not quite answerable, or coherent for that matter, but I think your getting my point. If you aren't I will attempt to catch you up.



Doc Rivers is a career .500 coach, in fact his record with the Celtics is 168-160, with that dream season, without it he's 40 games under .500, stellar. In fact, he was fired from his last coaching stint because he could never manufacture better than a .500 or so season, terrific. Let us break that down into some easier math terms:

Doc Rivers = .500 Coach
Doc Rivers + 3 NBA All-Stars in prime = 66-16

Shouldn't coaches be rewarded for taking a team with lower expectations, who in turn rise above and overcome, to make that team better with brillant sideline guidance? I'm not quite sure anymore but after Doc loses his All-Stars I'm willing to bet you'll agree.

A Daunte Afternoon

The NFL season is upon us, I know Tfil loves that, maybe it will get him out of his cave and breathing again. His G-Men won so he should be in good spirits, as far as my opening weekend went..... No Brady= Mo Problems.

As everyone has seen 10 billion times Tom Brady received a really nice welcome to this NFL season, by tearing his ACL 10 minutes in to the Pats 17-10 victory over the Chefs. I'm glad Vegas didn't have odds for this game or I would have lost lots of money. Backup for life Matt Cassel came in and played decently well, enough for the win anyway, against a sub par Chiefs team. A few talking points that should be addressed are: 1) Was it a clean hit on Brady? 2) What the fuck are the Pats going to do now? and 3) What I think the Pats should do.



Was it clean? Yes. 1 million times yes. I don't think it was even fair to Bernard Pollard for anyone to insinuate that hit might have been dirty, because now he will forever be known as the guy who took out Tom Brady and that's already bad enough. So let us put to rest the conspiracy theories and chalk it up to an unfortunate situation, with terrible timing that will have most Pats fans saying "See you next year. " or "Let's kill Bernard Pollard."

The Patriots reaction? Matt Cassel is now their starting QB. A typical, unwavering, stoic Pats move and I expected nothing less. Belichick goes down with the band and so does every other player on his team, (publicly at least) and I'm all for it. The last thing you want is dissension in the locker room during week 2 of your now totally fucked season. I like the confidence shown by the Pats, I just don't necessarily agree with it. Cassel is an uber-backup who hasn't played since high school, but he has backed up some pretty impressive talent (two Heisman winners at USC and Brady since 2005), so really I don't know what to think, my head is fucking spinning.



Rumors were also circulating that the Pats would work out Chris Simms and Tim Rattay. No thank you. I'd rather have the Pats cancel their season than have Tim Rattay taking snaps.

What do I think? I'm a radical and I think the Pats should shake things up a bit. Personally I don't have a ton of faith in Matt Cassel and I have even less in Kevin O'Connell, however I hope Cassel proves me incredibly wrong and keeps this season alive and interesting so I still have something to root for in January.

One name I would love to hear as a potential stop gap is Daunte Culpepper. That's right, I said it. Daunte motherfuckin Culpepper. The same QB who threw Randy Moss 50 something TD's in 5 years playing together and recently retired because no one would give him a shot. I am officially on that bandwagon and will sound the horn to any and all that want to hear it. The Pats have so much talent on that roster even Marcus Vick could win 8-10 games with them, so why not a proven veteran with a cannon arm and a past relationship with the Pats #1 wide out? It is definitely worth the experiment. I would hope that Culpepper would be chomping at the bit to play for a good team again. Those early Vikings squads were good, but never this good and granted shit didn't work out with OAK or MIA but it hasn't for any other QB in recent memory either.


In my eyes things are already fucked. Cassel is unproven and O'Connell even more so. I don't know what his asking price is but someone in the Pats office should give him a call and find out, I'm sure Randy still has his number. So let is be known where this Pats fan stands, Bring back Culpepper!